Ok, I don't really cook a huuuuuge variety of different foods, because I'm a vegetarian and also pretty picky and also slightly lazy. But that means that I've gotten pretty decent at cooking the few things I do have my own consistent recipes for!
So here you are, all the secrets of the critically acclaimed Simon Recipes...
(Btw, having Simon in the name just means I cook it frequently. I'm not claiming to be the first person ever to make these foods or anything, they're just associated with me and it feels like the natural way to refer to them.)
I've been making this recipe with few variations since high school, when I needed to carb-load before swim practice so I didn't run out of energy while swimming. It was basically the first recipe I ever came up with (aside from a version of toast where you add butter both before and after toasting it, which I thought of in elementary school.)
Originally, I used angel hair pasta, but I've found over time that angel hair is really not ideal for pesto in particular, because it takes more sauce to coat the noodles compared to a shorter, wider pasta shape with less surface area...and good pesto is unfortunately more expensive than marinara. Currently, I most often use rotini for this recipe, because all the grooves are good for holding sauce and parmesan. If I don't have rotini on hand though, fettucine is my second favorite pasta shape to use.
I was surprised that it turned out well with fettucine, I only started using fettucine once because we were low on groceries. If you do use fettucine, it helps to add a lot of butter and parmesan for a sort of fettucine alfredo type vibe. And if you don't have rotini or fettucine, penne or farfalle (bowties) are also fine, just not as good.
Whatever shape of pasta you use, it's super important to get the pasta AL DENTE!! and to add a bunch of salt to the boiling water for flavor. I cannot STAND bland or soggy noodles, the very thought is repulsive to me, and it should be to any decent human being!
ANYWAY! Are you ready? Here's what you need!
So basically you just cook the pasta, strain it, then add a jar of pesto, some olive oil so it distributes nicely, a decent amount of shredded parmesan, a LOT of grated parmesan, some garlic salt, and the optional ingredients if you like to have fun and/or you like butter in pasta (I usually don't, it's just a bit too greasy. But if it's fettucine, that's what I'm going for really.)
BUT!!! THE MOST IMPORTANT THING, AND YOU CANNOT FORGET THIS!
is that you need to stick your bowl in the microwave (1.5 minutes) in order to melt the parmesan for it to truly be Simon Pasta!! The texture created with melted parmesan and pesto is what makes this "Simon Pasta"!
Just make sure to keep some fresh salads and fruits and stuff around (maybe even some herbal kombucha if you're a freak like me), because you will probably want to eat a lot of this, which can easily lead to a greasy/bloated feeling (like AAAUUGH I am eating so many carbs and dairies and oils), and those other things will help.
This one takes a little multitasking but it will all be worth it in the end.
Step 1. Same concept with boiling al dente pasta (it has to be rotini this time) in very salty water.
Step 2. At the same time, put some olive oil with minced garlic on the skillet. Let it get kinda sizzly then add spinach (optional: fresh onions and mushrooms too.) After that reduces and it smells really nice, add your marinara sauce (I like to get one from Safeway that has mushrooms and onions already in it so I don't have to cut vegetables lol) to the skillet and mix that all around. Also good to add some salt and pepper but don't go too crazy.
Step 3. Strain the pasta and clean the pot so it doesn't have that salty residue stuff. Then, put the colander over the pot, it's ok if some of the pasta water goes in there, it can help with the sauce or whatever. And while that's up there, you can finish up the skillet stuff if you haven't already.
Step 4. Put the pasta in the pot.
Step 5. Add the sauce to the pasta and stir it around on low to medium heat.
Step 6. Add a bunch of finely shredded mozzarella, and grated parmesan. You can add shredded parmesan too if you want. Last time I made this, I used a mix of mozzarella and parmesan, which I only had because the grocery delivery person grabbed the wrong one, but it wound up being quite convenient for this meal.
Step 7. Stir it around and cover! Then just let it hang out for a few minutes, not too crazy long.
Step 8. Take the lid off and put the heat on low (or off, if you're not going to eat some right after.) You can stir it around some more and it will blow your mind because there is all this melted cheese now. It actually kind of has the vibe of a lasagna slightly, or at least it did to me the first time I made it. Anyway, you have a big pot of Simon pasta now, and you can share it with your loved ones or just take it to work in a bunch of tupperwares so you don't have to buy lunches!
You don't really need to microwave this for it to be authentic like you do with the first Simon Pasta, but I do like to top each serving off with some extra grated parmesan and garlic salt.
This is a nice meal to cook for someone if you want them to fall in love with you, or just think you are really cool.
Salad type - spring mix
Dressing - Annie's Goddess Dressing (the tahini kind, not the green kind)
Cheese - feta, honestly I like the Follow Your Heart vegan kind more than dairy feta at this point
Crunchy - sunflower seeds
Seasoning - If you have some "Mediterranean seasoning," use that. I've never found it at the store though, unfortunately.
Salad type - spring mix and/or spinach
Dressing - Newman's Own classic oil and vinegar vinaigrette (or something similar with oil, vinegar, salt, and pepper) or maybe even ranch if you don't like or have vinaigrette
Cheese - CUBED CHEDDAR! sharp cheddar is really nice for this. I prefer the orange kind in this recipe for some reason.
Crunchy - those snap pea crisps are really good here
Seasoning - DILL! it has a cool vibe if you shake some directly over the cheese cubes.
It's just a salad with spinach, blue cheese, and either blue cheese dressing or ranch. Lately I've just been using ranch because I've never really found a blue cheese dressing at the store that I like as much as the ones at restaurants. You can add some crunchies too if you want (like maybe those French's fried onion things) if you want to be extravagant, but honestly I think this salad is perfect the way it is. Sunflower seeds are usually my go-to salad crunchy addition but tbh they would be weird here.